Names

Naming things that are important to us a really big deal to people, and sometimes it creates unnecessary problems and conflicts.

Going back to Brian’s story on a page 121, he is creating a problem when there really should not be one when you really think of it. He and his fiancé are arguing because of the last name. They cannot agree on whose last name they are going to take after they are going to get married. Brian automatically assumed that his girl will take his last name because that is just the way it is, that is the way people live in this society. Our society strongly believes that when a couple gets married, wife is supposed to take on a husband’s last name, instead of keeping or sharing the last name that she was born with. But his fiancé did not want to take his last name; she really loves her last name and she was really hoping to keep her own last name even after they will get married.

I could not understand their argument at first. To me it was a common sense that a wife is taking a husbands’ last name after a marriage. That is the way I was raised, that is the way all married couples around me live so I did not even questioned that, not even once. Not until I read chapter 5, a part about language and names.  That is when I started to think about it, about us creating a meaning behind simple words. One of which is definitely Brian’s argument about a change of a last name.

When I thought of it at first, it did not feel like much. I thought to myself, oh please, it is just a last name, which cares. When I thought of an argument again, I realized a value, the meaning behind a simple name change that society had created. It is not just a sign of two people, who love each other very deeply getting married to make it official. It is more of a women marring to her man, and taking on his last name as a sign of belonging to him. And if by some crazy reason man decides to take on his wife’s last name, right away he considered to be a less of a man.

Now why is that, who created this idea in our heads? I believe the answer to this question would be our society. And in order to make a change we need to all get together and at least talk about it.