How can we study gender through the lens of communication and communication through the lens of gender?


Men and women communicate differently, therefore the study of gender aids in understanding communication.
For example, women express their feelings, emotions and thoughts more freely than men. As previously studied in class, women communicate by incorporating their emotions into the conversation. Let's take a heterosexual couple, talking to their child about failing school. While a woman would be very emotional about the matter at hand, and tell the child how she feels, a man would simply say "you're grounded". Barely any emotions involve, short and to the point.

How is my service learning at The Center connected with gender and communication? It is connected in every single way and aspect of it. My service learning consisted of communication between different genders and predetermined societal gender roles.

For example, I encountered quite a few androgynous people at The Center, many effeminate men, and masculine women. It is nothing out of the ordinary there, because it is a safe haven for the LGBT community.

However, many people outside of the LGBT community, especially those who are more conservative, might find reversed gender roles wrong; and might be very uncomfortable around people who push the boundaries of what is predetermined by our society. My gender communications class frequently discusses how people are born the same but are greatly influenced by the media, and their culture and society, in molding their ideas and portrayals of their sex. 

Violence

Is violence a form of communication between people?

Yes sir, it is. I believe that it is very primitive way of communication, when people are unable to send their messages across in a productive and respectful manner. However I believe that violence between two intimate partners differs essentially from violence seen on the street. It is not just the obvious reason of where such violence takes place, which is usually behind closed doors of the intimate partner’s violence; it is also the whole cause of that violence is different.

Regardless of their causes and characteristics, both violence types are absolutely intolerable in any complex culture.

Unfortunately violence exists all over the world, in all kinds of different social groups. However whereas violence on the street has its causes in social depression, that within intimate partners it is usually a question of power problem with a huge problem of self expression. Such violence I believe is a reaction to a situation born of anger and frustration. It is usually happens when one partner feels that they are lacking something that is important to them, be it money, love, freedom or respect. And in order to gain that power, violence comes into picture. Unfortunately, women often end up getting more hurt in such situations simply as a result of their inferior size or physical strength.

Understanding the causes of intimate partner’s violence is essential in fighting against it. Even though causes of these two types of violence are different, it should in no way excuse those who commit violent acts towards their “loved once”. They should be treated the same way in front of the law as those who commit violence on the streets. Perhaps only then will the incidence of this type of violence be reduced.

Issues

The issues that The Center is so greatly involved in educating the community are people’s rights and laws that were imposed in Colorado for the LGBT people. One of the biggest once I believe is a Super Campaign to Educate people on Colorado Law. The Super Campaign or, as The Center calls them the Rights 5, are five laws that defend and enhance the lives of LGBT people. Those rights might seem not as important to non LGBT or straight people because they grew up having them, they were born with them and never had to stop and think of them. Straight people never had to fight for all those right.

But LGBT people did. They were discriminated against when they were trying to get a job, they were discriminated against when trying to rent or buy housing. Some LGBT people suffered from hate crimes, and probably could never even dream of adopting a baby. A baby that someone probably just dumped at the orphanage, possibly unwanted child. LGBT people were refused a right to adopt that possibly unwanted child, and make him feel loved; create a family for that child. Create a home, a safe environment. And last but probably the most important is the right to be able to benefit from your loved one. LGBT people are now able to provide those benefits to their loved once, they have right to prove support to their loved one. All these right are being taking for granted by most of the straight people. We just got used to them, stopped paying attention to them, we do not even notice them anymore most of the time.

One of the ways, which I think is absolutely genius, that The Center came up with in order to educate Coloradans on those five state laws was to create five superheroes. Not just any super heroes, they are five superheroes with the unique capability to enlighten, inspire and protect all Coloradans to embody the Right 5. Enlighten and educating people is huge for the Center, because we all know that knowledge is power. In order to make educational process easier for all Coloradans the Center have set up an individual web site that will provide all information on all the laws and the campaign itself.  Here is a link to their web site with all five super heroes - http://therightsfive.com/index.php

Looking at these super heroes, and all the work, all the progress that was made by the center I think that they did absolutely great job in educating people about the issues. All education and information is provided to all people. It presented in a very creative way, and it is completely free of charge.  

However I noticed that all that information is there only if you know where to look. What I mean by that is that I would probably never looked, and never found out about those five super heroes if I did not volunteer with The Center. On their web site I saw I little, tiny link to the super heroes page. Almost did not notice it, but I was looking for it, so I found it. What is you never worked with The Center, or had a great teacher such as mine? You probably would never even know that such a thing as The Right 5 existed.  There are no sings anywhere about the Right 5 anywhere, no commercials, and never hear about them in m daily life. I guess if I wanted to learn I would learn everything that is going on in Colorado regardless of if I heard of it or not. But from my point of view there need to be a little better and bigger bridge between the communities.  

Expectations

Expectations… We all have them; we have expectations about everything in our life. We expect people to treat us the way we treat them, we expect to make a great career after we graduate from College, and we expect love from our parents no matter what we do in our life. At the same time our parents have laid expectations upon us to act and behave in a certain way. It is expected from us to get good grades, pay our taxes and save money for our retirement. Expectations, expectations... they are everywhere. So there is no surprise that I had certain expectations about my organization as well even before I started working with them.

As you already know my organization is The Center. To refresh the memory The Center is a nonprofit organization, which created a safe spot for LGBT community, and it is located right in a middle of Denver Down Town. Before I went there I had expectations that I will meet a lot of great and amazing people, I also had an exception that I will do a lot of great things for a community. Fortunately, all of my expectations were met, and even more. Thanks to The Center I was part of the LGBT Lobby Day that was held at the State Capitol on Monday February 24, 2011. This experience way over exceeded all my expectations. It was absolutely incredible!

That day at the Capitol I met, which felt like, a hundreds of new and absolutely incredible people. I have heard great stories; life changing stories form people that barely knew me. But even so, they trusted me; they have opened up to me. I am thankful to The Center for educating me about the Lobby Day, I am thankful to The Center for bringing me into their community, making me a part of it. I am grateful that The Center not only brought me in, but also letting me to participate in this great event, Lobby Day.

So now if you would as ask me if my expectations where met? I say they were way over exceeded.

***

Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are a good person is a little like expecting the bull not to attack you because you are a vegetarian.

- Dennis Wholey

***

It's important to remember that feminism is no longer a group of organizations or leaders. It's the expectations that parents have for their daughters, and their sons, too. It's the way we talk about and treat one another. It's who makes the money and who makes the compromises and who makes the dinner. It's a state of mind. It's the way we live now.

- Anna Quindlen

MENINIST

Recently I was reading about all different women’s and men’s right movements that did or still taking place all over the world. While I was on it I found many different movements and organizations, but one definitely stood out in a crowd for me. The movement that seriously grabbed my attention was Meninist movement. Meninist movement is: Men Supporting the Women’s movement. It is a global organization of men that believe in and support the feminist principles of women’s political, social and economic equality.

Honestly I never even knew this kind of movement existed in this world. I have never heard of it. So when I found out about this movement I felt extremely proud of all those men who where a part of it. I am proud of those men that stood up all by themselves against the majority. Majority of men that could not care any less about feminists and their ideas, majority that gets irritated when you bring anything up about inequality.    

Reading about Meninist movement made me what to be even better of a person that I already am. I cannot even imagine how hard it was those men to stand up and support a feminist movement. All I can say is that I am happy that there are understanding men out there, men who are sensitive, compassionate and fight for equal right for every person on this planet.  
Here is a link to a website that talked about Meninist movement and really liked  http://www.feminist.com/resources/links/men.htm ;

Names

Naming things that are important to us a really big deal to people, and sometimes it creates unnecessary problems and conflicts.

Going back to Brian’s story on a page 121, he is creating a problem when there really should not be one when you really think of it. He and his fiancé are arguing because of the last name. They cannot agree on whose last name they are going to take after they are going to get married. Brian automatically assumed that his girl will take his last name because that is just the way it is, that is the way people live in this society. Our society strongly believes that when a couple gets married, wife is supposed to take on a husband’s last name, instead of keeping or sharing the last name that she was born with. But his fiancé did not want to take his last name; she really loves her last name and she was really hoping to keep her own last name even after they will get married.

I could not understand their argument at first. To me it was a common sense that a wife is taking a husbands’ last name after a marriage. That is the way I was raised, that is the way all married couples around me live so I did not even questioned that, not even once. Not until I read chapter 5, a part about language and names.  That is when I started to think about it, about us creating a meaning behind simple words. One of which is definitely Brian’s argument about a change of a last name.

When I thought of it at first, it did not feel like much. I thought to myself, oh please, it is just a last name, which cares. When I thought of an argument again, I realized a value, the meaning behind a simple name change that society had created. It is not just a sign of two people, who love each other very deeply getting married to make it official. It is more of a women marring to her man, and taking on his last name as a sign of belonging to him. And if by some crazy reason man decides to take on his wife’s last name, right away he considered to be a less of a man.

Now why is that, who created this idea in our heads? I believe the answer to this question would be our society. And in order to make a change we need to all get together and at least talk about it.